Дебора Кертис - Touching From a Distance

• Название: Touching From a Distance
• Автор: Дебора Кертис
• Издательство: Независимое издательство «Ил-music»
• Жанр: Биографии и Мемуары
• Год: 2013
• ISBN: 978-S-9904994-3-0

«Touching From A Distance» — это первое погружение в жизнь вокалиста Joy Division Йена Кертиса, задокументированное его вдовой Деборой. Эта книга — взгляд от первого лица, рассказ о юности манчестерского музыканта с момента А первой встречи до последних суток. Отношения Деборы и Йена — холодная война длиной в десять лет, кончившаяся суицидом и посмертной славой. На русском языке публикуется впервые.

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They like to watch everything you do,

Transmitters hidden in the walls,

So they know everything you say is true,

Turn it on,

Don’t turn it on,

Turn it on.

Failures (1977)

Don’t speak of safe Messiahs,

A failure of the Modern Man,

To the centre of all life’s desires,

As a whole not an also ran.

Love in a hollow field,

Break the image of your father’s son,

Drawn to an inner feel,

He was thought of as the only one,

He was thought of as the only one.

He no longer denies,

All the failures of the Modern Man.

No, no, no, he can’t pick sides,

Sees the failures of the Modern Man.

Wise words and sympathy,

Tell the story of our history.

New strength gives a real touch,

Sense and reason make it all too much.

With a strange fatality,

Broke the spirits of a lesser man,

Some other race can see,

In his way he was the only one,

In his way he was the only one.

He no longer denies

All the failures of the Modern Man.

No, no, no, he can’t pick sides,

Sees the failures of the Modern Man.

Now that it’s right to decide,

In his time he was a total man,

Taken from Caesar’s side,

Kept in silence just to prove who’s wrong.

He no longer denies,

All the failures of the Modern Man.

No, no, no, he can’t pick sides,

Sees the failures of the Modern Man,

All the failures of the Modern Man.

(Waiting for) The Ice Age (1977) (Первый текст, использовавшийся для этой песни)

Scratching out atrocity,

Splintered in the sand,

In a deathshroud looking back,

Walking hand in hand.

Draw the lines onto your face,

To make it look brand new,

Nothing here will fit in place,

To screen the likes of you.

Stranded in hostility,

Buried further down,

Waiting in a churchyard,

For the sons to come around,

Burning down conventions now,

To give me all the proof,

Nothing here will hold somehow,

To give a glimpse of truth.

Searching for some other life,

To hide behind your door,

On a strange wave plunging down,

With hopes for little more,

Someone might have changed somewhere,

To bring us into line,

All so near to hit and run,

To cut the gaps in time.

Waiting for the cold to come,

To face one final stand,

Viewing scenes in black and white,

Walking hand in hand,

Reaching from the distance,

To find some strength again.

Ice Age (1977)

I’ve seen the real atrocities,

Buried in the sand,

Stockpiled safety for a few,

While we stand holding hands.

I’m living in the Ice age,

I’m living in the Ice age,

Nothing will hold,

Nothing will fit,

Into the cold,

It’s not an eclipse.

Living in the Ice age,

Living in the Ice age,

Living in the Ice age.

Searching for another way,

Hide behind the door,

We’ll live in holes and disused shafts,

Hopes for little more.

I’m living in the Ice age,

I’m living in the Ice age,

Nothing will hold,

Nothing will fit,

Into the cold,

No smile on your lips,

Living in the Ice age,

Living in the Ice age,

Living in the Ice age.

Living in the Ice age,

Living in the Ice age,

Living in the Ice age,

Living in the Ice age.

The Kill (1977)

Moved in a hired car,

And I find no way to run,

Adds every moment longer,

Had no time for fun,

lust something that I knew I had to do,

But through it all I left my eyes on you.

I had an impulse to clear it all away,

Oh I used the tactics, make everybody pay,

Just something that I knew I had to do,

But through it all I kept my eyes on you.

Oh, I keep it all clean,

I’ve paid the graces there,

No kings of misuse,

No sellers of flesh,

Just something that I knew I had to do,

But through it all I kept my eyes on you,

Yeah through it all I kept my eyes on you,

But through it all I kept my eyes on you.

Walked in Line (1978)

All dressed in uniforms so fine,

They drank and killed to pass the time,

Wearing the shame of all their crimes,

With measured steps, they walked in line.

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line.

They carried pictures of their wives,

And numbered tags to prove their lives,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line.

Full of a glory never seen,

They made it through the whole machine,

To never question anymore,

Hypnotic trance, they never saw,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

They walked in line,

Walked in line,

Walked in line.

Exercise One (1978)

When you’re looking at life,

In a strange new room,

Maybe drowning soon,

Is this the start of it all?

Turn on your TV,

Turn down your pulse,

Turn away from it all,

It’s all getting too much.

When you’re looking at life,

Deciphering scars,

Just who fooled who,

Sit still in their cars,

The lights look bright,

When you reach outside,

Time for one last ride,

Before the end of it all

Digital (1978)

Feel it closing in,

Feel it closing in,

The fear of whom I call,

Every time I call

I feel it closing in,

I feel it closing in,

Day in, day out,

Day in, day out,

Day in, day out,

Day in, day out,

Day in, day out,

Day in, day out.

I feel it closing in,

As patterns seem to form.

I feel it cold and warm.

The shadows start to fall.

I feel it closing in,

I feel it closing in,

Day in, day out,

Day in, day out,

Day in, day out,

Day in, day out,

Day in, day out.

I‘d have the world around,

To see just whatever happens,

Stood by the door alone,

And then it’s fade away.

I see you fade away.

Don’t ever fade away.

I need you here today.

Don’t ever fade away.

Don’t ever fade away.

Don’t ever fade away.

Don’t ever fade away.

Fade away. Fade away.

Fade away. Fade away.

Fade away. Fade away.

Fade away.

Glass (1978)

Hearts fail, young hearts fail,

Anytime, pressurised,

overheat, overtired.

Take it quick, take it neat,

Clasp your hands, touch your feet.

Take it quick, take it neat,

Take it quick, take it neat.

Hearts fail, young hearts fail,

Anytime, wearing down,

On the run, underground,

Put your hand where it’s safe,

Leave your hand where it’s safe.

Do it again,

Do it again and again and again.

Do it again and again and again.

Do it again and again and again.

Do it again and again and again.

Anytime, that’s your right.

Don’t you wish you do it again,

Overheat, overtire.

Don’t you wish you do it again,

Don’t you wish you do it again,

Don’t you wish you do it again,

Anytime that’s your right,

Don’t you wish you do it again,

Any time that’s your right.

Don’t you wish you do it again,

Don’t you wish you do it again,

I bet you wish you do it again.

Do it again.

Do it again.

Do it again.

Disorder (1979)

I’ve been waiting for a guide to come and take me by the hand,

Could these sensations make me feel the pleasures of a normal man?

These sensations barely interest me for another day,

I’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling, take the shock away.

It’s getting faster, moving faster now, it’s getting out of hand,

On the tenth floor, down the back stairs, it’s a no man’s land,

Lights are flashing, cars are crashing, getting frequent now,

I’ve got the spirit, lose the feeling, let it out somehow.

What means to you, what means to me, and we will meet again,

I’m watching you, I’m watching her, I’ll take no pity from your friends,

Who is right, who can tell, and who gives a damn right now,

Until the spirit new sensation takes hold, then you know,

Until the spirit new sensation takes hold, then you know,

Until the spirit new sensation takes hold, then you know.

I’ve got the spirit, but lose the feeling,

I’ve got the spirit, but lose the feeling.

Feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling.

Day of the Lords (1979)

This is the room, the start of it all,

No portrait so fine, only sheets on the wall,

I’ve seen the nights, filled with bloodsport and pain,

And the bodies obtained, the bodies obtained.

Where will it end? Where will it end?

Where will it end? Where will it end?

These are your friends from childhood, through youth,

Who goaded you on, demanded more proof,

Withdrawal pain is hard, it can do you right in,

So distorted and thin, distorted and thin.

Where will it end? Where will it end?

Where will it end? Where will it end?

This is the car at the edge of the road,

There’s nothing disturbed, all the windows are closed,

I guess you were right, when we talked in the heat,

There’s no room for the weak, no room for the weak,

Where will it end? Where will it end?

Where will it end? Where will it end?

This is the room, the start of it all,

Through childhood, through youth, I remember it all,

Oh, I’ve seen the nights filled with bloodsport and pain.

And the bodies obtained, the bodies obtained, the bodies obtained.

Where will it end? Where will it end?

Where will it end? Where will it end?

Candidate (1979)

Forced by the pressure,

The territories marked,

No longer the pleasure,

Oh, I’ve since lost the heart.

Corrupted from memory,

No longer the power,

It’s creeping up slowly,

That last fatal hour.

Oh, I don’t know what made me,

What gave me the right,

To mess with your values,

And change wrong to right.

Please keep your distance,

The trail leads to here,

There’s blood on your fingers,

Brought on by fear.

I campaigned for nothing,

I worked hard for this,

I tried to get to you,

You treat me like this.

It’s just second nature,

It’s what we’ve been shown,

We’re living by your rules,

That’s all that we know.

I tried to get to you,

I tried to get to you,

I tried to get to you.

I tried to get to you.

Insight (1979)

Guess your dreams always end.

They don’t rise up just descend,

But I don’t care anymore,

I’ve lost the will to want more,

I’m not afraid not at all,

I watch them all as they fall,

But I remember when we were young.

Those with habits of waste,

Their sense of style and good taste,

Of making sure you were right,

Hey don’t you know you were right?

I’m not afraid anymore,

I keep my eyes on the door,

But I remember...

Tears of sadness for you,

More upheaval for you,

Reflects a moment in time,

A special moment in time,

Yeah we wasted our time,

We didn’t really have time,

But we remember when we were young.